Crackling Embers | Cecilia & Abel

A few days had passed since she’d appeared, but little had came into clarity in that time. Some new memories was all she could list at the top of her head. There had been points where she’d felt like she needed to remember something, but in the end, she could never recall them. She was left stumped and confused as always. She tried not to dwell on it, but there was little else she really could focus on other than everything she couldn’t. It was strange, to just appear out of nowhere, needless to say. But what irked her the most was that she was probably around his age, Abel’s, and she knew nothing. She couldn’t even remember her family, if she had any. She couldn’t even be sad about their probable death - there was nothing to remember. She felt like she should be sad, but she wasn’t sure how. Not when she couldn’t remember.

The world around her, it felt familiar. Like everything had a shadow and all she remembered was the shadow. She was often left to stare at things for a long time and simply be amazed. She even asked a few times for explanation, only for them to leave her more dumbfounded and confused. She often stared and blinked at things often. They didn’t always stump her, but she often smiled when she found something new in the world around her. She didn’t remember anything about her old life, but she felt like she hadn’t spent much time in a forest. Not compared to now. She adored it, when she wasn’t allowing herself to wonder about everything she was forgetting.

Although, she was also very peeved and tired; stiff with hurting hooves for the first few days as she wandered along. Her hooves were still tender and unused to the long travels, but after a few days, she was starting to get used to it. She wasn’t very fond of the travelling life, but she didn’t have any other in the immediate future, so traveling along was her main bet.


Cecilia was staring off into the fire, almost concerningly close to the flame and it’s warmth, if it hadn’t already been proven by her that it wasn’t any danger to her. The fire was nothing but pleasant, it’s warmth bathed her. Any further away from it and she’d be left shaking in the night and the forest’s cold. Her gaze was busy switching between Abel and the fire, squinting at him, briefly wondering how he wasn’t cold from that far away, but she did little to voice her concerns; he could move if he wanted to. Either way, the flame currently held her attention.
It was also about all she had of her god; no stories, pictures, personality, virtues - it was blank. Yet, she prayed to him daily - she felt like she needed to. It was just natural. The fire was a certain comfort to her, something she couldn’t explain. Her gaze turned to Abel for a second as she switched her motion of thought. He knew very little about Ignacio - he couldn’t even remember his name. She didn’t remember what he’d called him, but she felt almost offended remembering that he’d managed to forget Ingnacio’s name. There was also the fact that he didn’t even seem very religious at all, none of his family was. Not compared to what she felt like was normal, at least for her.

Abel, in general deeply confused her. She wasn’t quite sure if she was fond or not of him. He felt like a weird kind of different she wasn’t sure she was totally comfortable with. But she did admit to herself she was more glad that he was around, instead of just his family. He seemed the most…well, least afraid of her. Which she didn’t know why, nor did she find herself wanting to ask why. And she still felt offended whenever he mentioned her being a unicorn. There was no way she was a Pegasi, or any of the other species around her, but a unicorn almost felt insulting to her.

Curled up, she finally let her gaze shift from the fire longer, resting on Abel for a few minutes. She didn’t pry away, just letting herself stare and not question her gaze. After awhile, she frowned and her mouth hung open. It took another minute before she spoke. “Why do you pray to your gods?” he tone was curious; a simple start to a conversation she wasn’t aware why she wanted to ask.

Cecilia seemed to shuffle a bit closer to Abel after asking the question; her eyes widened in interest as she waited for him to speak. Very quickly, a frown formed on her face, her lips pursed and her expression looked as if his answer was a bit lack-luster. Which, she should have been expecting, considering she knew already that he wasn’t very religious; but actually hearing it seemed like a different thing to her than just knowing it. Admittance over suspicion; there was a thin line and it was cut. She wasn’t sure why she cared though.

When she heard Ignacio’s name, her ears perked with an intense interest; very quickly her ears dropped in disappointment and she sat, shuffling a bit in a reaction. When it came to the question about her and her god, she seemed a bit hesitant or unhappy, all of a sudden. She took a few seconds after Abel had started talking to let the whole conversation sit, before she tried to tackle it. The very first thing she said, she said after a bit; her eyebrows knit together and her frown prominent. “That doesn’t seem like a very good reason to pray to a god. Because your parents do?” She huffed. “Thats like saying you’d step into the fire, because I can.” Her tail flicked. By now, she knew that he was never going to do such a thing; it was the first example that came to her mind after staring so intently into a campt. “If you’re gonna pray,” she said, more calculated than anything she’d said in awhile, “and have a god, you need your own reasons. Not just cause.” She frowned and stared at him, with such a deep frown it was closer to accusatory than anything.

She was, of course, more interested in Ignacio than any of the other gods, the only thing from that catching her attention. “Do you know anything? What he did?” There was that common desperation in her voice, when she was searching for information she couldn’t remember.

The last question about her, even after she’d paused for a long time to articulate her thoughts already, made her stop. She was quiet for a minute after, trying to think for an answer. It wasn’t clear if she found it or not, but she did speak. “I don’t remember anything, actually,” she corrected, as if it mattered, “but I still feel when things are important to me,” she explained, frowning now. “Some words make more sense than others, some are more pleasing - it’s like everything is on the tip of my tongue and I don’t remember it until it’s said aloud.” She huffed, trying to bring her rambling point to a close - she didn’t think about how much she was sharing, at this point. “I don’t know why he’s important to me. But when I hear his name, when I think about him at all, it makes me happy.” She let her tail flick back and forth a few times. “I don’t remember why he means so much to me, but I know, based on the feeling, that he meant a lot. That’s why.” Her eyes almost sparkled. “He’s my creator, my god, and even if I don’t know much about him, I don’t need to know more than that to know he’s important to me, be it why.”

Cecilia shook her head almost violently the moment the question was asked. She got a sudden urge to stand up and stare up him. But she concluded immediately after that, that urge was silly and how no substance, so she just remained staring without getting up, a heavy frown on her face. “No, that’s not true,” she said; there was a crackle on her voice; as if Abel came to close he’d be burned by her tongue. Her eyes furthered her voice’s fire, lighting up. “I mean, I know most of the time, it seems like that, but its not true.” She flicked her tail violently, lashing it with passion. “If your mom likes broccoli, does that mean you like it cause she does? Not because you like the taste or don't?” She started to laugh; something bold and violent almost; filled with the fire she was suddenly portraying. “You believe in a god because what they did inspires you. Because their element speaks to you. Because their virtues mean something to you.”

She glared at him as he purposefully avoided the question; she could tell he was, with the wording on the next part. The urge to get up and stare at him again closer, reappeared and was ignored once again. “That’s ok,” she lashed her tail again, “I’d rather have an unpleasant story than nothing.” She remained still, but her eyes practically begged him for answers. And she didn’t reply to the rest of his phrase there; the rambling about them just being stories. Her gaze remaining unchanged for a long moment. “Please,” she spoke carefully, blatantly aware that she was guilt tripping him, ignoring it in favour for answers. “I know nothing of my past life, nothing but pain and death. I need something, anything.” She stared at him with wide, different eyes. Almost innocent, but staring daggers at the same time.


The next question snapped Cecilia from her gaze immediately, but it took longer for her to reply; a blank stare with a few slow blinks before she could muster up a clear thought or even budge her mind into processing the question. “Well,” she started, staring for another second, “not really.” She shook our her head, taking another moment to fix her hair into place before she said more. “I guess I trust myself, even when I don’t remember why. The feelings - about him, it’s too strong to not mean anything. I know I had good reason - powerful ones, to like him. I hate that I can’t remember why, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need to forget them, does it?” She had a hard stare this time, again, staring as if she was waiting for his answer.

Cecilia could only frown at what Abel spoke of. Instead of feeling anger or care, she just felt pity. “You’re passionless?” She seemed to have to ask aloud. She stopped after that, taking a moment to stop and stare at the fire. She already had passions and obsessions. Some unhealthy fixations, like on her past she couldn’t remember nor could she move on when she tried to. Of a memory erased or non-existent in the first place. “Well,” she slowly trailed back in, raising her head to meet Abel’s gaze. Her smile was a lot bigger now. “We gotta change that don’t we? All of it. Gotta find stuff for you. Me too.” Her smile was bright. Oddly bright. She wasn’t sure why.

She leaned forward, keeping her eyes on Abel as she waited for him to mention the story. He seemed to continue to be hesitant. He started speaking, Cecilia took it all in before she started to digest. He stopped abruptly. Pulling her head back, tucking her chin against her neck, she looked rather coy and sheepish as she sunk a bit deeper into her spot and tried to think about the things she was just told. Abel clearly didn’t want to tell her, as if she’d feel bad about it all, but the more she thought about it. Of Flames and war. Of her god causing destruction. She swallowed hard and curled her tail against her body. It didn’t seem to phase her too long, for the next second she raised her head a bit, frowned and made it to her feet.

Cecilia put her foot in the fire, staring intently as if she was testing it for a second. She gave her tail a few flicks before looking over at Abel again.

“I think the war part is at least right,” she blinked, looking almost apathetic. “I’m not sure why - but I know…feel that I died violently…I can only imagine thats why.” She swallowed again and shrugged lightly. She took a step back and moved, so that she was sitting next to Abel. There was an intense mix of emotions in her eyes that didn’t make much sense to anyone, not even her. “I don’t know if I believe the rest - but that does answer one thing at least, so thank you…” She trailed off, adverting her eyes for a second. A bit shy, she looked back, a small smile on her lips. “One more answer that I have now, then…”