Confessions [Selora - Gianna] [COMPLETED]

Her attention snapped back to her friend, and she chuckled at the question. "Well, Serorans very much enjoy song and dance. Though I won't ever brag about my talent, I do sing a little. But that is besides the point." Selora tossed her curly mane onto her back, attempting to get it off her neck. It didn't work well, her hair was too heavy and thick to stay very easily on her tiny curved back. Her spotted coat shimmered in the moonlight, her hair swaying with the light breeze that swept through the alleyway they were now passing through. She shivered slightly, and tried to hide her chilled fit, but it broke through and she arched her neck, her muscles tense.This night chill was simply awful. Looking up from the golden cobblestone, Selora's eyes settled on a building that seemed to be slightly in shambles. The grime that it harbored - and the riff raff - made her shudder. But she noticed the gleam in Gianna's eyes, and she shook her head. "Oh, no. Definitely not. Gin, I will not go into that place! Oh, the germs that must be crawling everywhere. Absolutely not!" Selora tossed her head up, a stern glare set in her eyes. She would not go down with a very stubborn fight on this. Especially not over a disgusting, dingy, low class bar.

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Selora pranced in place, anxiety rising in her throat. "Ohh! Gianna!" She half-whined, half-growled. She watched with wide eyes as her friend headed towards the door, and she could not believe her eyes when she had the nerve to open it. Oh, what a filthy place.

The tiny mare looked over at the stallions leaning against the wall, reeking of liquor and sweat. Holding back a dry heave, Selora followed Gianna inside, despite every bone in her body screaming that this was a terrible idea. It seemed that every eye fell on them when they entered the bar, which made the normally dignified standing mare shrink back behind her friend. Rarely did she deal with the mongrels of society. Tonight, she saw all of them in the flesh.

"Gianna!" She squeaked over the soft music that played. A stallion with dreaded locks sat in a corner of the bar, playing a sad tune on his guitar. A lyre and two other stringed instruments she did not recognize were propped up on stands near him. He glanced at her, his eyes seeming hungry. Selora immediately broke eye contact, and pressed her side to Gianna's, fear making her heart pound. "I don't know if this is a good idea, Gin." She whispered to her friend, as those who had been gawking went back to their business. She could still feel eyes on her rump, and this made her shrivel up inside. What dirty bastards.

When they reached the bar, the bartender leaned against the bar, eyeing Selora and Gianna curiously. "What'll it be for the two pretty ladies?" His voice was gruff, and Selora noticed a scar that disfigured the right side of his mouth when he spoke. She looked to Gianna, figuring she knew what she was doing. Selora had never had a drink in her life, and never did she think that her first would be in Inaria, where drinking was highly disrespected among dignified horses. This thought made her stomach curl. She was throwing all of her hard work away by being here. There would be no high status for her, no rich handsome husband, no high class friends. No more Aquore. She felt sick, like she would puke all over that disgusting, grubby bar. She averted her eyes to the wood of the countertop, making sure to look dignified and without blemish. The view of the hardly clean surface made it all the more difficult to swallow the bile forming in her throat, yet she kept her cool. Dare she speak, all her hopes and dreams would be lost. And Selora was not willing to bet all her hard earned achievements on telling the whole bar who she was.

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"Careful, your inexperience is showing." Did Gianna really just say that to her? In an effort to prove her wrong, the tiny Ambassador all but whipped herself up straighter, making sure her haunches were straight and her neck was arched. Her eyes glazed over in a hazy flirtation, though it was obvious that she did not care to be in that bar. That much she could not hide. Sitting on the wide bar stool, Selora looked to the side, noticing the ruggedly handsome stocky blood bay taking a seat to her right. His glass clicked as he set it down on the bar, and he winked at her as the bar tender set her and Gianna's glasses down. The liquid inside was tinged a deep yellow - reminding her almost of liquid gold. She looked once to Gianna, and then back at the stranger - who had seen turned his attentions and was talking hushed to the bartender. Taking the glass in her telekinetic grasp, she watched in her side view as the stranger swished his glass and then downed it in one swift gulp. Figuring this was the right way to drink, Selora followed suit.

The golden liquid was definitely not anything like gold. It felt like fire going down her throat, and it took everything in her not to cough and gag. Selora swallowed, and pushed back her grimace - instead masking it with a flirtatious flash of a smile towards the blood bay stallion. His green eyes flickered over her body, and she felt her face grow warm. When she looked back down at the bar, there sat another glass of the same golden liquid. She furrowed her brow for a moment in confusion. Hadn't she just downed that same glass? But then, it dawned on her. It was a new glass... And that stallion was paying for it. When she looked back to him, he winked at her, tossing back another of the fiery drink himself. Selora looked back to Gianna, and smirked. "I guess this isn't all bad." She stated to her friend, finding herself giggling. Already, her hooves felt a bit warm and her belly felt strange and foreign. Picking up the second glass, she raised it and clinked it with Gianna's second glass. "Here's to a wonderful night with friends!" She toasted, and then downed her second glass of the burning drink. Oh, it tasted dreadful. But it was supposed to be fun, wasn't it?

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            One, two, three.
            
            Four more drinks of that awful amber liquid. Four small glasses.
            
            The small mare had never had a drop of alcohol prior to this night, save for the small amount of wine her mother had fed her as a small child to get her to sleep. She had never set foot in a grungy bar. She had never had social goings-on with rogues. And yet here she was, sitting at a dirty (ugh) bar, with her dearest friend to her left, and a devilish rogue to her right. And the bastard had the gall to keep sweeping his eyes down her body, making her feel dirty and sinful. Yet, the more she drank, the less dirty she felt. The more fluid her body felt, the warmer she felt. And that was good... right?

            "Oh, Gianna, come now. Down another. It's not as bad as I thought it'd be." Selora felt herself say. Yet the petite Ambassador, standing at a mere 11 hands high, towered by everyone in the dimly lit room, was entirely unabashed. A light giggle escaping her lips, she looked to the blood bay stallion, whom she noticed had a twisted scar on his well muscled chest. She smirked, fluttering her lilac eyes at him. "You think that's a scar, dear? You should see the ones I hide under all this lace." She wasn't going to take her shawl off. Selora had more sense than that, yet there went her telekinetic hold, slipping her shawl down her curved back. Her chocolate curls spiraled over her shoulders and back, and she hiccuped, giggling as the stallion got an eyeful of the deep scarring on her right side. A burning sensation had settled deep within her belly, feeling much like fear, yet she ignored it, leaning closer to the stallion. "What's your name, rogue?" His voice was deep, gruff, his lips looked as if they felt like satin. "Calger, and yours?" And there was that searing hot burning in the pit of her stomach yet again, but against her better judgment, she ignored her gut. "Ooh, I like that name... Sounds dangerous. I am Lady Selora, but you sir can call me -giggle- Ma'am."

            The night continued on like this, and though Selora did not drink any more, in fact leaving all the glasses bought for her on the bar counter, the alcohol she had already drunk was doing its damage. "Thank you for bringing me here, Gin. Wouldn't have met Cal -hic- ger here, if it weren't for you." Selora leaned heavily on her friend, though suddenly she felt a deep rooted sadness.A couple tears dripped from her eyes, yet she composed herself quickly, despite her drunkenness. Though in attempting to compose herself, Selora fell backwards off the short bar stool, falling onto her rump. Laying on her side on the grimy floor, the Ambassador choked out a high-pitched laugh, the laugh ringing out through the bar. The rogue Stallion tripped off of his stool to help her up, but decided instead to lower his head and push his muzzle into her tangled curls, speaking into her ear in an attempted whisper, but it came out rather loud, "Come home with me, Lady Selora. You won't be disappointed..." And perhaps she wouldn't, but this instantly stopped her laughter. She frantically stood, shaking the dust from her curls. "I beg your pardon?!"

            In a split second, the rogue had his head over her neck, maneuvering his body to push her towards the stairs. "Come on..." The rogue reeked of whiskey and swayed, much much heavier than Selora or Gianna. Calger pushed her shoulder into the wall, necking over her back, obviously rather oblivious to the pale mare's friend near the bar. Selora breathed frantically, suddenly feeling rather sober as she realized what the large stallion was doing. "Gianna!" She huffed, terrified of her current predicament, yet she was hushed by the stallion's grunts against her neck, feeling him start to push her towards the stairs beside the bar. "Gin-" Oh, this was not at all what Selora had thought when Gianna had suggested having a night out. Not at all.

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words: 693
notes: silly drunk naive Selora :'D

            Only now did the Ambassador notice the harrowing stench of alcohol clinging to the musky air, and how that same whiskey stench seemed to cling to her unusually unkempt hair.

            Selora was grateful that Gianna had saved her so swiftly from the harsh breath of the bay stallion. But now there was another problem. They were stuck there because Gin had challenged the rogue to a drinking game - a hardy one at that. Drinks were tossed back quickly, and though neither were by any means "light weights", the petite mare still worried for her friend. Gianna had been truly the only one to stick by her prickly side whilst she had been there in Inaria. Truthfully, the roan mare had been the only friend Selora had truly ever had, as her childhood friends had drifted away after she had dropped the Care-Giver apprenticeship. It was when she developed an obsession with Talori culture and customs that she lost her companions... Yet now, after the happenings of the previous day... she was without even her career to hold her steady, as she had been summoned to the Palace by the Emperor himself, where she had been demoted from her position as an Ambassador and swiftly, all of her wrongdoings had been brought to light. If she could really speak truths, which she rarely ever did, Selora had not meant at all to get wrapped up in the traitorous business that she had... But it was difficult not to, with so many promises of high status - which was her ultimate dream. But now, she had no chance of ever holding high status. She was, that is to say, sunk like a ship at sea, attacked by the proceedings of backwards propositions. If only she had found out the complaints about her before the Emperor had... Perhaps then she would not have been caught. Perhaps she could have switched her life around and been the Sultan's perfect little Ambassador- though it would've been an act, at least she would still have her job.

            The game proceeded on with more tossed back drinks and more demands, and it seemed from Selora's standpoint, that even on just the third shot, that Gianna was winning. With a break in the game, Gianna tended to her friend quickly, stating bluntly, "Selora you look a nasty shade of green. If you're going to be sick go do that in a proper bathroom. No one wants to see that... Don't come out until you look a proper lady again." The pale mare blushed irritably; she didn't feel the slightest bit sick. But perhaps Gianna saw what Selora could not. Wrapping her shawl back around her shoulders, she escaped to the bathroom, weaving through the mass of bodies that had collected to watch their drinking game. Shoving the rest room door open, gagging at the grime that caked the door, Selora splashed cold water from the surprisingly clean faucet onto her face, looking into the dingy mirror at her face. Her dark face did not look sick, but she did look quite the mess... Thank Cascade that her friend Nagisa could not see her now, she would indeed be chastised for the current state she was in. Other than stinking of alcohol, Selora's curls hung in a mass of tangled mess. Though she still looked a foreign beauty, her overly critical view of herself hushed any compliments of herself, integrating in harsh words of self-disgust. "Oh, you silly girl... what have you gotten yourself into." She spoke to herself, wrinkling her nose at her reflection. Going out drinking with rogues... How very unbecoming, but what did it matter now? She simply had Guardians watching over her every move now, but nothing go possibly go worse now. She was already stuck at the position of common folk. What more did she have to lose?

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tags: Ladybro-Meghan            

Selora


She did not notice the look she was being given until they reached the flight of stairs that led to her former apartment flat in the Emissary apartment complex. The little mare, still rather drunk yet holding a coherent, indignant expression on her dark face, raised her head, which only met at the top of Gianna’s withers at best. Snorting, she opened her lips to speak, looking rather offended. “Don't look at me like that, Gin. It was your idea to go drinking… how was I supposed to know how I'd act drunk?"


Starting up the stairs with a sharp clap of her delicate hooves on the concrete, Selora shook her name out, muttering to herself. “How could you be mad at me? It wasn't even my idea.” The hoof steps she heard behind her only made her trump up the stairs faster, muttering away about none of it was her fault. She was only going along with Gianna’s idea, how could she possibly know she would act that way? It's not like she had ever been drunk before.


When she reached what had been previously her door, having been decorated with a seashell wreath, was now a rather blank slab of dark wood. Perhaps Gianna would not notice. Unlocking the deadbolt quickly and shoving the door open, Selora snorted to herself, ignoring all the boxes that still lay secured shut on the floor, all except one - which held pictures frames that protected small portraits of Gianna and her and Gianna and together, and the sort… one of the portraits had a lipstick kiss on the bottom right corner. Passing by the open box and reaching the rather barren kitchen, Selora smacked a glass onto the marble countertop, pouring herself some previously brewed green tea spiced with citrus, sweetened with honey. She did not notice whether or not her friend had entered the apartment, and if she had, her whereabouts. She simply stood there stirring her tea irritably, huffing half heartedly and trying to continue to be angry with Gianna, though her attempts were failing. And there within her breast grew that fluttering sensation again as she thought about Gianna. Yet she pushed it away. There was too much to think about, more important things than fleeting emotions.

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What was this? Was she suddenly feeling guilty? A loathing irritation bubbled in her stomach, as she sipped her tea rather aggressively. Er, rather too aggressively. A bit of the hot liquid caught in her throat as she seethed, making her cough and hack rather unattractively. Clearing her throat and patting her lips with a cloth napkin, coughing harshly again, Selora wobbled a bit on her hooves, steadying herself against the counter. Gianna's voice was just as slurred or even more so than hers, which made her oddly satisfied. "I-I... well, no one, I suppose..." She stuttered, suddenly feeling rather unsure of herself. Maybe she should have rejected Gianna's idea of going drinking... Perhaps it was her fault.

Tripping over her own hooves to make it to the carpeted living area, the petite mare fell rather awkwardly onto the plush pale carpet, lying on her side beside Gianna. Feeling rather ill for a moment, she lay still, allowing her stomach to calm before she said anything further. Rolling onto her belly and looking down at Gianna, she found herself blushing. "I...I'm sorry, Gin. I should have gone easier on the liquor... and the flirting. You were my date, I suppose. I shouldn't have treated you in such a manner, dear." Her face grew only hotter, and she looked away, lowering her head so that her mane spread out around her, curling and brushing over her and Gianna's legs. "Could you forgive me for my behavior?" Batting curled eyelashes down at the roan mare, Selora nudged Gianna's cheek gently, a slight pout forming on her lips. "Gin? Wh...Why did you intervene anyway? I- well, I mean. Erm." And as she looked down at her friend, the ex-ambassador felt those unfamiliar butterflies in the pit of her tummy. What was this feeling that had grown so fond of the inner walls of her middle?

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The long pause of awkward silence was killing her, ripping through her like a sharp blade. The way that Gianna had replied… it was as if she questioned whether or not Selora and her were friends… but of course, her blushing betrayed her, even though she attempted to hide her face. The petite mare pressed her forehead into her friend’s shoulder, squeezing her eyes tightly shut. “I guess you are right.” Her voice cracked at the end of her final word, yet she paid no mind. She was still quite drunk after all, as despite her being stationary, her stomach continued to twirl about, somersaulting within her gut.



“Thanks, Gin.” Was all she could manage before the realization of the happenings of the last few days washed over her, pushing her emotions against her cold barrier, threatening to break it. Tears welled in her eyes, yet she did not blink in fear of losing them. The guilt of not telling Gianna… it was eating her alive. Yet she feared her best friend, her only friend’s rejection. Gianna was all she had now… she would presumably never see or hear from her family again. There would be no more yelling mother and no more long talks with her father about the Gods. No more making fun of Kristo for his lack of a mare. No more annoying, sweet little Taline… no more spoiling her rotten. Selora was stuck within a herd that did not care for her existence in the slightest, in fact if she showed up dead, the Emperor would probably rejoice at the fact that one thing on his long list of things to worry about had expired. No one would miss her… and she definitely no longer had any role in this country, or in Sedo. The Serorans had turned their backs on her completely, the Sultan relinquishing her rights to the Emperor. She was stuck as a commoner, of all things. A COMMONER. Her dreams were tossed into the ocean along with the foal sacrifice, her heart trod upon… all she had left was Gianna. And she would pray over and over in her lack of sobriety, Please do not take her from me, Cascade. Please, I need her.



These thoughts lingering within her mind, a few hot tears fell from her eyes, dropping from her chin to Gianna’s shoulder. Hiding her face in Gianna’s neck, Selora started to sob. Quiet sobs that wracked her shoulders with a trembling that none had ever had the privilege to see of Selora, the generally so hardheaded, silver-tongued, cold mare. Yet here she was, drunkenly crying into Gianna’s shoulder, snuggling closer to her friend to gain comfort. Very little could comfort her now, and those things that could, were currently hundreds and hundreds of miles away, over a vast ocean and never ending desert. Oh how she wished she could have been born with wings, then to be chosen for the Sacrifice. At least then her pathetic life would be worth something.

She wanted to apologize for her blubbering, to tell Gianna what was wrong... but what would Gin think of her, the traitor...

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She had been crying into her shoulder, her sobs making her whole body tremble. And she her lips were on her cheek, kissing away the hot tears that seared her face. And then in a moment, they were not longer on her cheeks. Gianna’s lips pressed onto her own, warm and soft, gentle… And so loving. For a moment, Selora found herself pressing back into the kiss, all of her confusion, her fear, her worries melting away to reveal a golden joy lit deep within her heart. It felt wonderful.



And wrong.



What was she doing? Though it felt wonderful, it felt nice, it felt perfect… Selora had already been branded once for her transgressions. Gods forbid the Emperor ever knew of this night, and the former ambassador knew it to be a very real possibility, with the Guardians watching her twenty-four seven… They must know she was drunk, at her old apartment, with one of her former colleagues… They must know of what they were doing. Guilt strung her heart up like a noose, constricting her emotions. Selora pulled away quickly, her eyes welling with more hot tears, which spilled over and darkened her cheeks. She didn’t know what to say… or if she should say anything. She stared at Gianna for a moment, her dark face very visibly blushing. Selora wanted answers, more than anything. She wanted the truth. And she would have it.



Her voice came up from her throat uncomfortably, sounding foreign to her as it broke when she rose her voice in questioning. “Gianna, why-” She paused for a moment, gazing unblinking at her. When their eyes met, Selora felt that bubbling feeling in the pit of her belly that had grown so familiar to her. Was that what she was feeling? Attraction, towards Gianna? Was Gianna feeling the same way…?



But did it matter. If anyone found out, Selora would be deported from the country for good, off to Aodh as a pit slave, or a house slave if Cascade were gracious enough. Just like her father. She was determined not to let that happen… Not in this lifetime. In all her hard work as Ambassador, even if she strayed from her path, she did not strain tirelessly for high status just for it to be thrown into a fiery blaze. She could still have that status… She could still have her prestige.



This was all the liquor talking, of course. There was no chance, no chance at all of any of those dreams coming true. Cascade had made sure of her transgressions coming to light, made sure of her child coming back to worship Her and Her alone. What more did Selora have to lose. Another branding on her shoulder? Would the Emperor truly deport her? What threat did her finding happiness pose to the Talori? The way she saw it, absolutely none. So what if she became a slave. She basically was already there now… banished to being a commoner. Never to see her family again. Forced to slave over textiles and precious metals to make a living.



She had absolutely nothing to lose.

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(KitoGryff forgot how computers work so I'm posting her post in her place. It was written by her then copied and pasted here by me. ;> )


Her sweet, sweet best friend... Gianna... she was sitting only inches from her, yet
Selora felt further from her than she ever had before, in that moment of watching the
mare hang her head in what seemed like shame. But shame of what? Yes, everyone
had secrets, but what could Gianna possibly be hiding from her? They had shared
everything... including some of their deepest secrets. What could Gianna have hidden?
What wasn't she telling her?

When Gianna spoke, her thoughts quieted for only a moment. Of course she knew
how it felt to hide things from others she bloody well knew should be known. She had been
forced to hide under an alias for half of her career... telling her parents that all she was
doing was creating a better Serora for their daughter to grow up in... that she did nothing
shaded or suspicious... She had lied to her friends for years about her training to become
Ambassador of Serora. She had lied about all of the secrets of the Talori. She had never
once told a single soul about the Solstice Celebrations. Yet every day it plagued her. Every
night she woke up from nightmares about that poor little filly who had been sacrificed for the
Wave Mother. And though she treasured the Wave Mother in her heart, she disagreed with every
sacrifice ever executed in Talorian history... To murder herd members, even for the glory of
a Goddess... it was wrong. Yet, she had said absolutely nothing to the Sultan. Her commander.
Her leader.

"Y-Yes, Gianna. I... I think I know better than anyone with that, dear." Selora's
voice broke, as another wave of tears fell from her eyes. Her cheeks burned hot, adrenaline still
pumping through her veins from the kiss. "What aren't you telling me, Gianna. I know that
look... you're hiding something from me." She addressed her friend bluntly, her eyes on the
roan mare before her, unblinking. Not judging, but no longer holding the drunken warmth they
had an hour before. That same hesitant coldness that was present the day they met held within
those lilac eyes.

And when their eyes met, Selora had that strange sensation
in the pit of her belly again… Nearly overwhelmed by the
extreme temptation to kiss her again...

WC: 396

There was that silence again, brooding, making Selora’s eye twitch. All she could hear was the shaky breath that rose and fell from Gianna’s lungs. She wanted to go and comfort her friend, for whatever was troubling her. But something within her held her fast against that carpet. Fear, perhaps? What if Gianna confirmed her feelings, that they were in fact real and reciprocated? But that couldn't be it… Gianna wouldn't have let her brood to herself for so many days.

And when the roan spoke, Selora’s stared alertly at her, watching her every move, calculating her body language. Those first words… they threw Selora a curve ball she never would have expected.

Gianna… she… she was a he… In every way but body. How could this be…

Selora’s first gut reaction was to scoff at her, to deny her acceptance. To judge her in that very moment, and write her off as if she were mud on the bottom of her horseshoes. And everyone who met her knew how much she despised mud. For a moment, this initial reaction shown true on her face. Before she caught herself, that is.

How hypocritical would it be to write off her best friend, her only friend, who was struggling right now with her… his identity, when she was also struggling with a similar demon. She had not been able to stifle the feelings she felt for Gianna for months now, no matter how much she prayed and visited the temples. No amount of repenting could rid her of the sinful blemish that plagued her… and here Gianna was, admitting she… he shared the same feelings. He was terrified, vulnerable, and probably just as confused as Selora was. If anything, her friend seemed more resolute with his fate than her. What would Cascade think, if she gave in to these emotions? How the Goddess punish her?

In that long pause of silence, Selora had spoke not a word, nor met Gianna’s eyes. To be quite honest, she was terrified herself. Of admitting her feelings out loud, of the repercussions she might face. But again the thought of her branding curled in the back of her mind. Could the Emperor truly brand her again, and deport her? Was he truly that heartless?

So then her decision was made. Selora had nothing to lose except a business she hadn't even established yet. And this… this could be hidden, even from the prying eyes of the Guardians… right? What could possibly go wrong?

Rising from the plush carpet and making her way into the tiled kitchen to stand beside Gianna, she looked out the window at the stars, a small forced smiled coming to her face. “I remember the first time we sat and star gazed together… Don't you remember? It was so clear that night, it was as if Cascade herself had painted the sky, just for us…” She trailed off, looking down at the black marble counter. She would not miss this apartment, but she certainly would miss all the memories she had created there. “Gianna… Gin…” She started slowly, heaving a sigh between sentences. “Darling, I… I must accept you for who you are, for who you wish to be… I would be a hypocrite if I didn't… Gianna, you're not the only one with secrets. I… uhm.” Her voice faltered, as her face grew hot. She had the sudden urge to touch her cheek to Gianna’s shoulder, so that she did. She pressed her cheek into the roan’s shoulder, blinking back hot tears that teased her. “I feel the same for you, Gianna… I have now for months, but I have been denying myself the right to be happy. I've wanted to stay constant so much, I have been so selfish… so selfish and so… barbaric in my ways…” The sudden guilt that washed over her made her tremble, her knees threatening to give way. Perhaps she wasn't strong enough to go through with telling him the truth. But she had to. “Do you remember when I was summoned by the Emperor, how I had said he only wished to congratulate me on nearly two years of my Ambassadorship? You had thought it odd, as he had never once congratulated you for anything… well…” She cleared her throat, pulling her shawl from around her shoulders and dropping it to the white tile floor, moving her vast amount of curls from her neck to give Gianna a full view of the still-fresh branding on her upper shoulder. It was crusted over by dried flesh, raised red like a fresh tattoo. She turned to look at Gianna, to face his reaction. She wanted him to kiss the fear, kiss the uncertainty away… Selora had to face the truth of this. She had to, one way or another.

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