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Post by ebbarie on Aug 19, 2019 9:02:06 GMT -6
change on the rise
Whitaker x Othala
"I hope you know
that you are my home
but now I`m lost, so lost"
after Chapter 8
The Aerie early evening
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Post by ebbarie on Aug 19, 2019 9:35:02 GMT -6
 Othala;Vagabonds | Flock Medic
I don't wanna hurt you, it's not my nature.
The Sentinel turned his head at the soft sound of her hooves, hitting the ground on her landing. She greeted the pegasus, that was waiting for his comrade to perform the change of shift, politely, before taking a position a few meters away from him.
Unfortunately she was a little bit too early, Whit was nowhere in sight yet. For one thing, she was almost glad to be able to delay her confession for a little bit longer, even just for a few minutes, then again the waiting didn't helped at all to keep her nervousness at bay.
Restlessly she scraped the ground with one of her front legs, leaving a shallow but noticeable notch in the soil. At some point the Sentinel darted an annoyed glance at her, so that she forced herself to stand still again. Without a physical compensation for her inner turmoil, her thoughts started to race again.
Othala had not the slightest idea how he would react, and that made her even more anxious then the fact itself.
Breathing. She just needed to breath. Together they would find a way to figure this out.
Suddenly the Sentinel before her unfolded his wings and threw himself into the air. She watched him exchanging a few words with the new arrival ere he disappeared on the horizon.
In his stead another, golden coated Sentinel landed on the rock ledge and automatically a warm smile spread across her face. Worry or not, there would never be a time in which she wouldn't be glad to see him.
"Welcome back" she greeted him as calmly as she was able to and gentle nudged the side of his neck.
Breathing.
"I know you had a long day but...would you mind flying with me for a bit?"
WC: 294 | Post 1 |
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Post by tarriedsea on Aug 21, 2019 9:53:49 GMT -6
 The sight of his beloved made his heart leap higher than Alya's skies. It happened every time Othala sprung into his vision, and he wondered if the feeling would ever fade.
Because he knew his habit of falling too hard. Be cautious, careful, distant, strange, until she told him it was okay. And then it was all over. Love seized him. He was a victim of his own adoration, and he didn't fight it.
He touched down with a wide flapping of his wings and broke into a jig toward her. Gorgeous on the clifftop, her shadow long and warm in the fading sun. Her nose pressed his neck, and he nibbled the crest of her mane. A small wind tickled her hair and it twirled around them, dancing.
Some days he still couldn't believe she was his.
"Of course," he answered. His wings were tired, but he'd never decline an opportunity for them to be alone.
With a brush of teke, he unbuckled his saddlebags and they slumped onto the ground. He briefly considered keeping his dagger on him to be safe, but he tossed it as well. He'd grab them later. After flying all day in the thick leather, the sweat that girded his barrel & chest was starting to itch.
"I could use a bath... would you like to find a spring or brook? Or do you have somewhere specific in mind?" |
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Post by ebbarie on Aug 21, 2019 11:31:38 GMT -6
Othala;Vagabonds | Flock Medic
I don't wanna hurt you, it's not my nature.
A small part of her had still hoped that he would insist on going home after such a long day of work, that she could postpone that conversation again. This was obviously not a solution, avoiding the topic any longer. With each day it became more likely that he would find out himself, and that would make things even worse.
As a result of her nervousness she couldn't even enjoy his lovingly greeting. Quicker than normal she drew back from him and just hoped that her smile didn't seemed to forced or tensed.
"Yeah, you definitely could use one" she replied waggish and nodded at the with sweat crusted coat that appeared below his gear, to divert attention away from her. "Then come, I know a little lake not too far away from here. It's a little hidden between some rocks, I found it on the search for some herbs, they grow best in rock crevices."
She was talking too much, as always when she was nervous. Another slight smile, then she spread her wings and threw herself into the air.
The place she had in mind was nothing special, the lake was rather shallow, not suited for actual swimming but the area was not frequently visited by other Flight members, as far as she knew.
The least thing she needed was someone strolling around there while she was trying to tell Whit that...She couldn't even think the word. It was still so absurd, so unthinkable and frightening.
"How has your day been?" she asked once Whitaker caught up with her, mainly to prevent him from asking her anything.
The flight itself didn't took long, however to her it felt like an eternity. Her thoughts raced, barely able to concentrate on Whits words. How did one even start such a conversation?
During her time as Cleric she often announced the joyful message to married couples, that were always over the moon at these news.
What were the chances for Whit being over the moon once she told him? Low, if not nonexistent.
With a shaky breath she landed soon after next to the lake. The turquoise water looked more than inviting but she assumed that some relaxing swimming wouldn't happen today.
Whit apparently had a different opinion, for now. For a split second she considered letting him take the bath, but she would not procrastinate any further on that topic. She had done that already way too long.
"Whitaker" she started, Whitaker, not Whit, her voice anxiously and breath shakily.
"We really...need to talk about something."
WC: 426 | Post 2 |
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Post by tarriedsea on Aug 22, 2019 9:13:09 GMT -6
He laughed and let her lead the way, taking a moment to watch her takeoff before unfurling his own wings again. Curiosity piqued his conscience. It wasn't uncommon for her to greet him after a shift, but she seemed eager to leave the Aerie. Maybe she had something planned.
The sight of clear water made him sigh gleefully. He landed with the soft thud of unshod hooves on stone and jigged to the edge of the lake. This place was so secluded, it would be nice to spend some time alone with her. The Aerie suddenly seemed very crowded and cramped when he sought privacy for them, and though they had nothing to hide, it prickled his nerves to think of nosy eavesdroppers catching wind of their conversations.
"Uneventful day, mostly. Escorted a group out of the Aerie to head toward Wanderer's Way. I may be headed there in a few days; I need to check in with Hyperion's plan for the week. He just got back from Valore- I don't know what to think of our supposed alliance with Aodh. That herd has never sat right with me."
He dipped his head down to drink. A canopy of trees made the enclave warm and dim, touching everything with an aura of gold. Cicadas hummed in the trenches of the forest.
Valore was one place he had been barred from entering in his wandering days- the security of the city kept his ilk out. He wasn't sure what they intended to gain from partnering up with the scruffy likes of the Flight, and he was suspicious of their motives. Having a common enemy in Talori did not default their relationship to an alliance.
"Whitaker..."
Hearing his full name snapped his attention back and he whirled his head around, water droplets spinning from his muzzle. For the first time he looked at her- really looked at her- and noticed the worry in her eyes, the way her ears pulled back in distress. Her voice shook.
His heart dropped.
"What is it? What's wrong?" |
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Post by ebbarie on Aug 23, 2019 1:06:40 GMT -6
Othala;Vagabonds | Flock Medic
I don't wanna hurt you, it's not my nature.
Her heart dropped as Whitaker turned around to her, worry and tension now clearly visible on his face.
What she had to tell him likely was even more shocking and worse than he could imagine right now, at least to her it was.
Of course she always wanted to start a family - with a husband, once this conflict was over. And if it were up to her grandmother, than definitely not with another pegasus. Chetana had always talked her into believing that she needed a hippocampus husband if she wanted to make something out of her life.
An advice that already did more harm than good to her mother, Ehani. With Argus blessing she had combed through her earliest memories a few weeks ago, to get a glimpse of her biological father. Ehani had never spoken much about him, had not even given away his name. So of course she had been curious about him, even tho she knew that he left her mother because of her being born with feathers, instead of fins. And so, despite better knowledge, she had recalled her very first memory.
Ehani had been there, obviously, and Chetana as well. The hippocampus entered the room later, but when he did, all curiosity of meeting or knowing her father vanished immediately.
Back then, as a newborn, she obviously didn't understood the look at his face when he saw her for the first time. But now, looking back as an adult, the disappointment, yes almost disgust at his mimic, hurt more than she could have ever imagined.
It was not fair towards Whitaker to compare these situation, but this experience had been so formative that the feelings involuntarily swept over her now. Would her child suffer the same fate as herself?
Unlike her, Whit could run away from this responsibility, and even tho she refused to believe that he'd do that, the doubt remained. Their relationship was still so new...
She had no idea how she could explain that in a way that wasn't overextended or shocking, so she simply took in another shaky breath before she carefully raised her wings to offer a free view at her flanks. The rounding-up was still not too evident, especially for someone like Whit that saw her every day, but soon it would be.
"Whit...I, I mean we, have a problem. I'm...expecting a foal."
WC: 393 | Post 3 |
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Post by tarriedsea on Aug 23, 2019 10:12:59 GMT -6
Instinct panicked at his chest, but suddenly the absurdity of what she just said registered in his brain.
"That's not possible," he smiled, shaking his mane. Othala had never been one to pull pranks or long jokes, but maybe she was more weasely than he thought. Though this was a strange way to do so, knowing what he was (or wasn't) capable of. Odd that she wanted to get him away from the Aerie to pull his leg, but maybe this would segue into more lighthearted time together.
She didn't laugh.
Her wings lifted from her body, and Whit's smile froze. Was she trying to convince him physically? She looked no different than normal.
But her face told the real story: worry creased her eyes, which suddenly appeared so tired. Tension held her still. Her voice had faltered. She really believed this.
"That's... not possible," he reiterated, more steely this time to make sure Othala heard him, staring her in the eyes. She was wrong, unless she had been lying about her exclusivity to him. Or she had been violated. Neither were options he wanted to hear her confirm. |
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Post by ebbarie on Aug 23, 2019 11:35:50 GMT -6
Othala;Vagabonds | Flock Medic
I don't wanna hurt you, it's not my nature.
That was it? His first reaction to this news was laughter? To be fair her own initial reaction to her suspicion had been not too different.
Denial and excuses. Until there was no more room for any further maybes.
By the change of his expression and the undertone in her voice she could tell that he was now in denial as well.
"Do you think I don't know that? By the waters, I'm a goddamn medic Whit!" she countered frustrated. Yes she should be more patient with him, his reaction was completely understandable. However right now she definitely didn't had the nerve to act much understandingly.
"Because I know that it's impossible, I went to Renata to create clarity. She came to the same conclusion as I did. This is neither a joke nor a vague suspicion!"
With every word she became more agitated to a point where even the feather crown on her head had ruffled up.
"Whit, I'm serious and I'm afraid!"
Especially afraid. How should they raise a kid in the Aerie, in this conflict that didn't seemed to end any time soon?
WC: 186 | Post 4 |
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Post by tarriedsea on Aug 23, 2019 14:05:56 GMT -6
Her sudden switch in tone made Whit pull his ears back. Words tumbled out of her mouth faster than he could register them. That aching panic started to rise again with every heartbeat until blood roared in his ears. The world started to spin, and choice comebacks rose in Whit's throat.
But she was obviously beside herself, and countering her frustration with more stress wasn't going to help. He had assumed they were monogamous, and Othala had said he was her first, and it wasn't in her character to... to....
He couldn't even bring himself to imagine her with someone else. He had trusted her, loved her, thought maybe they'd fly together the rest of their days. It would be so unlike her to betray him, but did he really know her? They were still so new. Doubt whirled in his head and he hated the visions it created, horrible sickening images of her being unfaithful, being someone he didn't really know.
And the alternate option. Nausea rolled in his stomach and his vision spun wildly, but he clenched his throat and tried to appear calm.
"Did... did something happen? " he asked quietly, trying to sound as non-accusatory as possible. "Pel wouldn't tolerate that in the Aerie, we can excommunicate them. You can tell me. And we can find a medic... I mean you would know... we- I mean you- you can uh... end it, if that's what you want."
Tears started to squeeze the back of his eyes and he blinked furiously to keep them at bay. His chest felt hollow and ambiguous anger screamed at his throat. He wasn't mad at her, if this wasn't her fault, but everything was suddenly so discordant and wrong. |
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Post by ebbarie on Aug 23, 2019 23:44:52 GMT -6
Othala;Vagabonds | Flock Medic
I don't wanna hurt you, it's not my nature.
At first she didn't realized what he was hinting at, it was like they were completely talking at cross purposes.
He was shaken, not for the right reason yet but still shaken, and so she tried to calm herself as much as possible. Unlike her, he hadn't had the chance to get used to the thought yet, so she should be the calm and reasonable part here but at the moment that was more than difficult.
Slowly the realization of the meaning of his words crept in and for a moment she could only stare at him, without saying a word.
Stay calm, breathe.
"I mean you- you can uh... end it, if that's what you want."
Ending it. That suggestion shook her even more than his assumption that she could have been violated. Ending it...that wouldn't happen. Even tho she didn't felt ready for any of this, she wouldn't even consider to end an innocent live just because she made a mistake.
Stay calm, breathe. This was about making clear to Whitaker that he would become a father, and about how they should handle the situation. Not about her own feelings, not now.
"No! No. Nothing like that happened." she tried to reassure him, but when she did something in his expression changed again. He went from concern to anger and disbelief.
Her eyes widened when she realized what his next assumption would be then. "Don't you dare to ask me that next question." her voice was calmer this time, yet the undertone made clear that she was hurt. Trusting him, allowing physical intimacy had been such a struggle for her. And now he had the guts to stand here and accusing her of unfaithfulness?
Frustrated the blinked the tears away and shook her head. "If you are actually confident that I would do something like that, then leave now. I'm seriously."
Did hiding an affair, by trying to convince your actually infertile significant other that they would become a parent, sound like a decent plan to him? Hardly.
"I know that this shouldn't be possible and I have no explanation for this but it is the truth. This is our foal, if you believe me or not."
WC: 369 | Post 5 |
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Post by tarriedsea on Aug 24, 2019 16:56:29 GMT -6
She was getting frustrated, and Whit felt matched in her confusion and exasperation. What she believed wasn't true, it was biologically impossible but she was insisting that he was the sire.
Did he trust her?
With his heart, yes. With his life, absolutely. With this... he wanted to, badly. Because the thought of her lying to him broke his heart. And she didn't appear delusional in any other circumstance, so she wasn't losing her mind.
Her words suddenly cut deep and his eyes widened. He ruffled his wings.
"No! No, I don't think you would do anything like that. I'm not accusing you of anything. I just want you to be honest with me. Please Othala, I don't know what to think... "
He paused and looked away, biting his lip. Memories swirled in his brain- so many partners, more than he would ever want to disclose to her- but so far in the past, and never once had one fallen pregnant. It had been a point of pride for him. All fun, no risk. Zireael, his longest courtship, had never carried a child. Surely that wasn't a fluke or luck? If he was capable this entire time, it would have manifested before now.
And sure, a medic had never actually confirmed his inability to father children, but it was obvious. And the years of evidence never countered that belief.
A new emotion flooded his conscious. He was the guilty party here. He did this to her after reassuring her that it wasn't a possibility. Othala was the one good thing in his life, and he fucked it up again. He could practically hear the gods laughing at his misfortune.
Unless they were the ones to blame. He hadn't ruled out a cosmic involvement, because that started to manifest as the only damn scenario in his head that made sense.
His voice broke the silence, quieter this time. He still avoided her eyes. "If what you say is true, if I had known... if I had any notion that this would be possible... I would have told you, I would have refrained. I'm so sorry Othala."
A million emotions rolled through his chest like tidal waves, each pressing for the dominant voice. His doubt wasn't appeased, and his suspicion lingered ever so slightly, but she was making sense. She wasn't, but she was.
He gingerly took a step toward her, keeping his head low. If she was angry at him, it was her right. Placing the burden of childbearing on her body without her input was violative. She could very well resent him for this.
And if the child was somehow his, that would make him... something he never even dreamed of being. Something he wasn't even sure he wanted, and definitely not now. He resented the part of him that winced when she denied ending it. That would make things so much easier. He didn't have a moral position on that concept- it had never been personal before- but he didn't know what to do. He just didn't know.
Whit sighed heavily, finally meeting her eyes. She had awoken such feelings in him that he thought were extinguished forever. He adored her, cherished her. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her, but he didn't have an answer for the fear in her eyes.
"What do we do?" he asked quietly. |
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Post by ebbarie on Aug 25, 2019 0:58:47 GMT -6
Othala;Vagabonds | Flock Medic
I don't wanna hurt you, it's not my nature.
With, leave now, she really didn't meant leave. Words said out of frustration and anxiety usually did more harm than good. What would she do if he actually decided to leave? She didn't wanted to loose him because of this mess.
"I am honest with you" she answered looking directly at his eyes, her voice more silent now but not less emotional. "I know this conversation feels like an ambush, and I'm sorry for that...I had no idea how to tell you this without it being a shock"
The silence that followed was only difficult to bear. He couldn't even look at her. She knew that he was trying to believe her, but she also knew that he didn't, at least not completely, at the moment. And she couldn't even hold that against him.
But at least, he hadn't ran away yet, the number one worst scenario she imagined on the flight to this place didn't came true - yet.
The situation could be worse, but also definitely better.
"You don't need to apologize. I know that you would have told me if you knew." They both would have been more carefully if they had known.
"I am sorry that I...made the decision on my own...you know, to not end...it." If she was honest to herself, then she knew that she purposefully waited to tell him this news until it wasn't possible to end it anymore. "But I couldn't square it with my conscious to end a life because of a mistake we made. I know that it complicates everything so much and that we aren't ready for anything like that but...I swore to preserve lives, not to take them. Can you...understand that?"
The foal would definitely complicate everything, and that still was an understatement. When he finally looked at her she see the various strong emotions that currently fought to gain the upper hand, inside of him.
However, no matter how shaken he was, he was still here.
"Thank you for trusting in me." Not trusting her story yet, but trusting in her enough to stay.
At his question a slight, stricken smile spread across her face. She suddenly felt so tired, but also glad to haven gotten this over and done with, even tho she knew that the real problems would just begin now. They had made the first step.
"I have absolutely no idea." she replied honestly. "But maybe you should...uhm...see a medic to...get things checked?" It was meant partially as joke, to relax the situation a little, but also partly serious. They really needed to know how this could happen in the first place to prevent this from repeating. And it definitely would ease Whitakers mind to know the truth.
WC: 454 | Post 6 |
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Post by tarriedsea on Aug 25, 2019 10:45:34 GMT -6
All the tension roiled up in Whit's body suddenly exploded out in a laugh. "Yeah, I guess that would be a good idea."
He stared out at the lake, growing darker with the fading sunlight. Fireflies began to dance along its surface. Of course she would preserve the smallest of life. It wouldn't be in her nature to end it, no matter how fearful she was.
Acute awareness of his potential freedom in this situation prodded at his mind. He wasn't bound to the thing growing in Othala's womb. It would be too easy to run away and pretend the Aerie was a piece of his past.
But would it? Would it really be easy for him to leave not only the one person he finally felt intimate with again, but also the Flight as a whole? A younger Whitaker would have definitely fled and closed his ears to the insistence of his imminent fatherhood. But things were different now. He was different.
"I didn't have a father," he said slowly, watching the fireflies twinkle in the trees. "I had an uncle, who was a poor example of parenthood. And my mother.... wasn't great either."
How the hell was he supposed to know how to be a parent? Anxiety at the term suddenly shook him with the rolling crescendo of a stormcloud. Oh gods, there would be a foal. His foal. His own child. This had to be a dream, this wasn't real. He wasn't ready. He wasn't ready.
The world started to spin again, the edges of his vision blurring. One knee started to buckle, and then the other. He locked his legs squarely in place and concentrated on staying upright, squeezing his eyes shut. The next eighteen years flashed in front of his vision. His chest started to heave.
"Gods, I'm not ready for this," he rasped. "Not here, not in the Aerie, not with violence happening all around us, not now, not-"
He wanted to say 'ever', but that was a pointless sentiment now. Having an actual family would compromise him in his work, make him soft and cautious. He was so unqualified for parenthood- and the word still caused him to wince. What would everyone think? The gelding becomes a father- the conclusions they would draw would be so obvious. And what would they think of rearing a child in the Aerie? Should they leave the Flight altogether? Did he want to spend the rest of his life with her, or at least through parenthood? His instinct was yes, but they hadn't talked about it nor made that kind of commitment. And her family- oh gods, Othala's family would crucify him and dance around his pelt.
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Post by ebbarie on Aug 25, 2019 11:48:35 GMT -6
Othala;Vagabonds | Flock Medic
I don't wanna hurt you, it's not my nature.
Whitakers laugh was contagious and took a huge load off of her shoulders. Maybe everything would be alright after all. Maybe together they could make this work.
The following silence didn't felt paralysing, like the previous had. Instead it was almost healing.
Slowly the night crept in and covered the little valley in a softer light. The last few hours had passed by in a flash, now the minutes stretched almost tenaciously. After a while she glanced at the thoughtful Sentinel, wondering what was going on in his mind. For now however she would leave him alone until he was ready to talk again. There was so much he had to process now, too much to handle over the course of a few hours.
When he eventually raised his voice again, his words surprised her a little. „And despite that you turned out quiet good, or not?“ she countered with a slightly amused undertone. He didn't often talked about his past but from what she knew she could tell that he didn’t had a happy childhood, unlike her.
„I’m sure you will do just fine. I remember that little kirin boy you took care of a while ago. You handled that greatly“ she reminded him gently.
They both would grow into that role, hopefully.
She wasn’t as unprepared as Whit was, considering that she basically raised four younger siblings.
Her siblings, Tegan. She hadn’t heard anything of him in the last few months and slowly she started to worry about her family. That however was something to concern herself with on another day.
Busy with her own thoughts, she didn’t noticed Whitaker’s breakdown until he was already on his knees.
“Whit, are you alright?“ she asked frightened and rushed to him. The mare pressed her body at his side to support him and prevent him from falling completely. His voice was almost pained, he was completely overstrained. And she was too.
„I know, I know. I‘m neither.“ her reply was barely a whisper and she could feel tears burning in her eyes. There were so many emotions, anxiety, relief, doubt. It was too much.
“But we can handle this. We will. Lets try and face the problems as they arise, instead of overthinking things.“
She was propably the last one to follow that advice, but she had no idea what else to say.
WC: 417 | Post 7 |
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Post by tarriedsea on Aug 26, 2019 8:04:32 GMT -6
The sensation of her body touching him felt suddenly so foreign, perhaps because it was no longer hers completely, but a shared space, and he suddenly feared it. What if he hurt her? He knew absolutely nothing about bearing children. Was she fragile now?
"Lets try and face the problems as they arise, instead of overthinking things."
He leaned in closer, breathing deeply the scent of her hair and neck.
He tried to be morally upright for the most part, every damn day. At least as much as he could understand. But he wasn't sure what that even meant sometimes, and most times the rot inside him felt like too much, too far gone, too destined for iniquity. It loomed like a losing battle.
"I don't know that I'm good."
She was right though. The spiral of his own insecurity and fears wouldn't serve well anymore.
Gaelan had felt different somehow- the kirin boy had been lost and needed someone to lean on, and Whit knew he'd have few takers in the Flight & Talori alike. He had tried to stave off the intention of being a parent to the orphan, though it had tugged at his mind.
And now here he was.
Slowly he pulled away from her. "Join me?" he asked quietly, before turning and stepping into the wide pool. Still warm from the late-summer heat, the water lapped at his sides and finally started to soothe his hot, itchy skin. |
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Post by ebbarie on Aug 28, 2019 12:15:47 GMT -6
Othala;Vagabonds | Flock Medic
I don't wanna hurt you, it's not my nature.
For a while she simply concentrated on her heartbeat and Whitaker’s slowly normalising breathing. Their touch suddenly felt somehow foreign and she just hoped that it wouldn’t stay that way.
She‘d never viewed „home“ as a place, instead to her it where the people that gave it that feeling. Whitaker by now was a part of what she considered as home, and she had no idea what she would do if she should loose him.
“In my eyes you are...a good man I mean. And I know that many more, those that matter, also felt that way. And maybe that is enough, for the moment. Until you will eventually be able to see that as well“ she replied gently, and she really meant what she said.
Then he suddenly moved away for her, and for a moment she was scared again. Would he leave now, after all?
No, he was only heading for the lake. She released a shaky breath from which she didn‘t knew that she had been holding it, and tried to relax again.
Wordlessly she followed him into the comforting depths of the lake. With her teke she brushed the warm water over his sweaty back. She’d give him time now, time to think everything through. Maybe in a few days he’d be ready to talk about it again.
“You never told me much about your past...What was your life like...before the Flight?“
WC: 262 | Post 8 |
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Post by tarriedsea on Aug 28, 2019 14:13:16 GMT -6
His breath hitched, like it always did on the topic. He usually tried to downplay the impact of his past, preferring to keep his eyes on the present, but everything still haunted him. The ones he hurt. Ghosts now, only echoes after his seventeen years since leaving home.
"Depends... how far back you want to go." He couldn't remember what he had told her already and what he had strategically omitted.
He sighed and let his gaze fall on the dark water rippling around him. "Just before joining the Flight, I was a vagabond in the truest sense. A wanderer. Homeless." He bit his lip, weighing whether to mention more.
"I traversed the continent. I was young. I made... mistakes. If I'm a good man now, I wasn't then."
Dove and Zireael flashed across his mind. Aisling too. Anonymous faces of the many he thieved. Semi-familiar faces of the transient vagabond friends he traveled with. He wondered where they were now. Scattered like seeds across Hireath, probably.
He changed course on the discussion.
"I don't have family that I know of. I don't know of any siblings. I haven't spoken to my mother or uncle since I was 14. I never knew my father. And I don't plan on going looking for any of them."
He glanced at her, knowing this detail in particular clashed with her own history. She had a family- a large one, a mostly supportive one. She was close to Tegan. They were Talori loyalists, but Othala had their blood. He couldn't hate them if Othala didn't.
"I'm sorry our... our foal won't have any family from me. But you wouldn't want them in our lives. They were harmful. Dangerous."
He grew silent, fighting the gnawing pain that he had disclosed too much already. She deserved to know where he came from.
He leaned over and rested his head gently on her back, staring upward at the stars that began to peek out from the darkening velvet sky.
"What will your family think of us?" he asked her quietly. The fear in the back of his mind that her family would disown her for partnering with a raggedy Flight member simmered since their first real embrace. Now that she was possibly carrying his child? He didn't want her to become estranged on his account. |
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Post by ebbarie on Sept 6, 2019 1:36:43 GMT -6
Othala;Vagabonds | Flock Medic
I don't wanna hurt you, it's not my nature.
For a while she just listened in silence to his words. Speaking about his past was difficult for him, that much she could tell even though he still kept so many parts of it to himself.
"You don't need to go into detail if it makes you feels uncomfortable" she commented gently after a while. Maybe she shouldn't have asked, but she was honestly curious. He had spoken so little about his family or his time before the Flight until now. And with the sparse information he was willing to share she slowly started to understand why.
"I'm sorry that this happened to you. No child should have to grow up like this." Unloved and left alone. There was no way to justify such a neglection. For a moment her thoughts drifted towards her own family again. Tegan was also just a boy. She had left him behind for no other than selfish reasons. She hadn't seen or spoken to him in months. Even tho he tried to handle the situation bravely, she knew that she had hurt him more than anyone else ever did, and that she could never forgive herself.
Far much too quickly she brushed the thoughts aside again. This evening was already emotional enough even without this feeling of guilt.
"What parts of Hireath have you seen on your journeys?" she asked suddenly to focus on another, at least for her more harmlessly topic. Before joining the Flight she had never been outside of Aquore. Visiting the Isles had been a rather unpleasant experience for her, she just held a deep distrust for the Rogues, but seeing Breim had awoken a certain kind of wanderlust in her.
She'd never leave her homeland for too long, but would love to see a little more of the world. There was so much they all could learn from each other...
"It's a shame but as you said, family or not, you just don't want certain harmful persons in your life" she sighted and wasted a thought on her biological father.
"The whole Flight should be enough of a surrogate family, don't you think?" she joked half-hearted before she turned more serious again.
Yes, what would her family think of them, if she'd ever get the chance to tell them? Taking into account that she basically broke with almost all of their traditions and joined a terrorist organization. All of the sudden panic rose in her again. There was no special trigger for that, just the overall straining day. Her heart started to pound unpleasantly fast and her body started to shiver slightly.
"They...won't be happy, at first" she started hesitantly after a while. "My grandmother won't accept it but mother should understand." Ehani had made her own mistakes when she was young, and Othala would remind her of that if she had to.
"But honestly...I don't know. They were always supportive of me but I haven't seen them in so long and I have no idea how they will react if they find out that I ran away to join the Flight."
WC: 532 | Post 9 |
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Post by tarriedsea on Sept 11, 2019 10:27:04 GMT -6
"I'm sorry that this happened to you. No child should have to grow up like this."
He sucked in his breath, the words clanging against his chest. No one had really verified his discontentedness with his childhood before. Then again, no one had really known. In his youth with Zireael, the feelings were still too raw and complicated to confide in her.
And as much blame as he did place on his caretakers, a quiet voice in the back of his mind always whispered that it was his fault. His deserved treatment. His destiny to suffer.
But suddenly hearing Othala say that... it closed a tiny wound inside him. A lump suddenly formed in his throat and he didn't know why. Always so emotional. He swallowed and cleared his throat, thankful for a change of topic.
He lifted his head from her back and gazed upward at the stars. "Anywhere a foreigner could go, I went. Spent a lot of time in Onea and Eithne. And Sedo. Eithne has the most agreeable weather- cool and temperate, though it rarely snows. Some say Ignacio doesn't allow the earth to frost, the narcissist." He snorted. "I couldn't ever get into Valore nor the labyrinth of Breim - they're both strict about visitors."
"Onea on the other hand... it snows in bucketfuls. One winter it came up to my chin. An absurd place to live, but the stubborn old Forged claim they prefer it to anything below Onea. Though the mountains-" he paused, lost in memory. "They're massive, and beautiful. Bigger than the Barriers. White-capped."
He paused to lower himself deeper into the pool, letting it lap his shoulders. His wings fanned out in full extension and grazed the surface. Despite the dim light, he saw her grow agitated at the mention of her family.
"Do you miss them?" he asked quietly. "I know you've seen Tegan since you joined... does he know you're in the Flight?" |
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Post by ebbarie on Sept 17, 2019 10:03:44 GMT -6
Othala;Vagabonds | Flock Medic
I don't wanna hurt you, it's not my nature.
For a while she allowed her thoughts to drift along to his pictorially stories, trying to imagine the places he had seen during the years. Especially the telling about Onea made her curious. The Forged probably differed the most from the Talorians, concerning both, the climate of their countries as well as the nature of it's people.
At the mention of the snow her eyes widened and she looked at Whitaker with disbelief.
"Up to your chin? I absolutely cannot imagine such a landscape! It must have been a breathtaking sight." She had never even seen a single snowflake in her life, or experienced temperatures greatly below 15°. "How did you not froze any limbs off with your thin Talorian coat?" she asked laughing and watched him fanning out his wings in the water. One small brown feather came loose and was carried around the waters surface by a slight breeze. She followed it for a moment with er gaze and also caught a glimpse at another, much bigger feather that she was wearing woven into her mane for a while now.
Joining the Flight had caused her so much pain, but it also had made it possible to meet him.
Her curved ears pinned slightly backwards at the mention of her little brother. It was a defense reaction, for thinking about him caused her the most feelings of guilt. Guilt and shame, about what she had done to him.
"Yes...I told him. He is the only one of them that knows it." she admitted after a while. Telling him hadn't been easy. His reaction had been understandably negative. Tegan couldn't unravel why she had made that decision, especially after what he and the rest of the family had endured in Torrine during the Flights siege over Inaria.
"If I miss them? Like crazy. There is not a day I don't think about them, but every-time I do I also have to confront myself with my decisions." Quickly she turned her head away from him, and tried to blink away the upwelling tears. She new that Whit had a way too high opinion of her, and she was a little afraid of what would happen once he realized that.
"I didn't left because I believed in the cause or because I thought I could change things for the better." with every word her voice became more bitter. "I left because I was selfish, scared and naiv. Reese didn't even needed much to convince me to come with them. "
The mare released a shaky breath and tried to suppress the stream of emotions. She had slowly became better at it - this wasn't the first time she was blaming herself for that.
Suddenly her head snapped upwards, her eyes searching his again. "Do you think this will ever be over? The Flight I mean. We fought and we lost multiple times. Every changes that happened in the mainland however weren't caused by us. They hate us, the only thing that made them change their ways was Cascade. She ended the sacrifices, not the Flight. "
WC: 530 | Post 10 |
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